As you know, at H-B Woodlawn we address teachers by their first names. We find ourselves to be very “quirky and different.” However, many new students find it difficult to use a teacher’s first name. This is actually the correct way to address your teachers as you enter H-B. When entering H-B you have to complete a series of trials to earn the right to call teachers by their first name.
The Ten Trials
Attend a frisbee-related event
Participate in a blackbox production
Trip over a spot of uneven concrete
Memorize the unhinged times on the schedule
Accidentally get stuck in the red staircase
Go to 7-11 in between classes and get back before the end of the passing period
Vote “nay” at maximum volume during Town Meeting
Successfully infiltrate the field
Be late to class because you were waiting for the elevator
Be run into by a student playing Ninjas or a small middle schooler
If you fail to complete these trials, you must face the fate of eating in the cafeteria for all of your high school career.
Assimilation Tips
If you wish to fit into our caring community, you must abandon all pedicures and polish for a pair of sandals. Any pair of Tevas or Birkenstocks will be sufficient — the more orthopedic the better. In addition, your level of unhinged-ness must pass even that of the average theater kid. If one feels compelled to slide down stair rails, jump up and down on hand-me-down coffee tables, or prance around in socks only around the basement, by all means pursue your truth. As we are ‘hippie-high’, each year the teachers protest the lack of bike parking by parading around the building on two wheels. Sixth graders squashed, helmets abandoned, open toed sandals trampled, it is a dangerous day. However, it is only right that all students experience this annual affair.
Finding your people at H-B is difficult, especially if you come into H-B later in your secondary school career. However, H-B offers many unique experiences (not associated with these trials) that truly aid you in discovering your passions, your strengths, and true friends for years to come. Nothing can give you more satisfaction than finding the best classroom to have lunch in, your T.A. understanding how to best help you as a student, and a wonderful group of friends who have been through the same trials and tribulations as you.